Me, Myself, and Cyclops
by harlene quinselle
Summary: I take a little trip to the Marvel Universe to annoy the ever annoying Cyclops.


It's another story, by me. Loveable ole' adorable Harlene. I apologize if my writing isn't up to speed I've got a screwed up keyboard and strep throat. Fun, fun, fun. Notice I get sick right before school starts. Not during school. That sucks but that's my life story. Anyways, here's my disclaimer. Everything's Marvel's. Except Fury if I put her in here. I haven't decided yet. Read to find out more. And in honor of I'm assuming two faithful fans, I am dedicating this story to the   
  


Two Screwed up Sh*ts, Cork and Cindy, Sculder and Moldy, 

and all their other aliases unknown to me.   
  


Sniff! It's so nice to be appreciated!! Now if only everyone else were so nice to me.... By the way, I recommend listening to Sarah MacLaughlin (spell check) when writing stories It gets the creativity (or lack thereof) going inside the little brain. (Microscopic mind in my case. You know what? I'm in a mean mood. I'm going to make fun of my arch nemesis, CYCLOPS!! How to do it... How to do it....   
  
  
  


"Oh, dum dee dum..." Cyclops trotted down the upstairs hallway of the X-Mansion, listening to the wind rush between his ears while whistling a so off beat tone of the YMCA. He reached the stairs an peered down the spiraling staircase. Suddenly a figure appeared in front of him. It was draped in a knappy brown robe and it's face was hidden. A man's voice said, "Use the Force Luke." 

I walked onto the scene, leaned over, and scolded the holographic image. "Hey, this is my story! Ge out! Shoo!" I turned to Cyclops. "Geeze. Holograms. I'll never get the silly things." 

"Who are you?" he said in his whiny little pathetic voice. 

"I am Glenda, the witch of the north." I stopped and thought a moment. "No that's not it," I muttered. "NowI've got it! Stepping into my stories always leaves me a little disoriented. I'm... Harlene Quinselle! And I am going to.." 

"Scott!!!!!" 

Both of us cringed at the screech that coursed through the house like a volt of electricity. "That the ole ball and chain?" 

"Coming, dear!" I followed him down to where he and Jean's bedroom lay. I peeked in from the hallway, acting like my innocent self. Inside, Jean sat on the bed with her arms and legs crossed, fuming. She seemed oblivious to my prescence. 

"Scott, you left the toilet seat up again. And do you know what happened? I fell in! This is it! I want a divorce!" 

"But honey..." 

"No! I'm calling my lawyer." He instantaneously soared backwards into a wall, pinned by a telekinetic blast and was then telekinetically tossed into the hall, followed by the slam of the door. 

I put my hands on my knees and hunched over to inspect his broken body. "I don't think she likes you anymore." 

He slowly rose. "Get away from me." 

"I love you to!" i mumbled sarcastically. "Anyway, like I said, I took some time out of my not so busy schedule today just to..." 

Betsy stomped up and slapped Scott on the face. "How could you tell Warren? That was five years ago!" she shrieked. "FIVE!!!!" With one swift movement that even I wouldn't have had time to react to (seeing as how I'm so perfect and all :P), she punched his right eye with her violet gloved handand stamped off again, her hair purple hair swishing down her back as she left. 

"You're quite the ladies man, aren't you?" 

"I'm leaving." he said gruffly. 

"Me too!!" I said in way to long contained excitement. "But first.." 

Storm appeared with some papers in her hand. "Cyclops, my apologies, but, you're being impeached from leadership. It was a unanimous vote in a team meeting this morning. Here are some of the comments made by the team members to back their decisions." After she had turned the corner of the hall, I snatched them from his hand. I looked up at his face with a dopey grin plastered on my face as I flipped through the papers and made my own comments. "Ooh. These are good. Let's see, Fury and Jubilee say you're 'excessively dorky'." I glanced up. "You know, I can't really object there." I went back to my reading. "Storm says you're 'a wuss that runs from your troubles.' Yeah, you have left the team quite a few times haven't you?" I began to count off of my fingers, my face still buried in the paperwork before me. "There was Madelyne, loss of Jean, loss of your son.... And I'm almost positive I left out a time or two in there. You really should learn to face up to things. Take it like a man. Anyway, before I proceed, I would like to let you know that I'm going to....." I looked up just in time to see Scott become impaled on Wolverine's claws. "Oooo," my breath came in like a hiss and I winced. "That looks like it hurts." 

"That's fer hurtin' Jeannie, Cyke!" Wolverine retractred his claws. Cyclops stumbled over to the wall, his hands on his stomach. 

I threw the papers behind me and walked towards him. "Well, I guess my work is done here." My gleeful expression melted into one of disappointment. "I was going to make your life a living hell. But I think you already have that covered.... Are you even listening to me?" Cyclops slumped to the ground and a puddle of blood began to race towards me. 

"I guess not!" I jumped backwards, slipped over the paper behind me, and fell into the arms of an extremely cute Gambit. _Thank God for artists like Maduiera!_ I peered into his bottomless red and black eyes. "oh, You're so cute. But, I have to go!" I pouted. The story was ending. I'd already been disappointed once with Cyclops dying before I could even dip a finger into the cess pool that had been his life. One of his eyebrows raised. "Are ya ok, petite?" 

"Ah what the heck!" I exclained. I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him before he even had time to know what hit him.   
  


And that's when I woke up kissing the crap outta my pillow!!   
  


Hee, hee! I guess this should be a lesson to you all. Don't write when you're sick.. So, I hope those crazy punks enjoy the story I wrote for them. It's based off of an actual dream I had. And now that all of you think I'm on crack... Whatever your names are now, start a fan club!! (Hey I tried, didn't I?) Ah, yes. And Sarah, forgive me for using your music to create this monster.   
  



End file.
